Remote controlled sex toys are the latest thing or ‘teledildonics’ to give them their official title. That particular moniker was first coined in 1975 by Ted Nelson, an American tech pioneer but that was pre the digital age, what do teledildonics mean in the 21st century?
‘Sex tech’ is a term which applies to a huge range of technologically enabled products including basic remote-controlled toys, erotic virtual reality, interactive porn, sex robots and even educational apps. In 2018, in the States, a patent first filed in 1998 expired allowing sex toy makers the freedom to make whoopee with tech and toys without the draconian burden of having to pay a ‘licence fee’ to the patent holder. The company behind the patent were roundly detested and even became known as a ‘patent troll’ a term coined for people or organisations which hold a patent for the express purpose of preventing someone else from developing something and then suing them if they have the temerity to do s
For women, a vibrator that connects to your smartphone or even your Applewatch for easy touch screen control
Lioness Smart Vibrator, the traditional rabbit style but once it is connected to your smartphone, you can monitor your movements and the amount of arousal you are enjoying – you can even create a pictorial representation of your orgasms. This works by the toy’s sensors recording pelvic floor movements which is how it distils the information about arousal and orgasm. Temperature monitors reflect your core body heat and gyroscopes track how you use the vibrator. The data can make interesting reading but maybe later on!
KIIROO Onyx2 and Pearl2 Couples Set is designed for couples in long-distance relationships. Male and female stimulators are connected via an app allowing partners to combine their experience and enjoy it in real-time. The app can also control the vibrations and synch with videos, games and even webcam performers
LELO Sona 2 Stimulator delivers sonic waves to the clitoris to stimulate the whole area, not just the tip as with some toys. This stimulator does not use vibrations but sonic pulses which are contact-free meaning that the clitoris does not become over sensitive barring any further orgasms. Slow, sensual and prolonged this is a totally different vibe or should that be non-vibe…
WeVibeSync is a couples’ vibrator which is Bluetooth-enabled and with mobile app connectivity. Used during sex, the vibrator can be controlled using the remote control or via the app. This is a fully adjustable sex toy, an improvement on earlier versions, that’s all well and good but the remote control only functions within a distance of ten feet. The app, however, can control the vibrator from anywhere in the world giving a whole new meaning to the concept of a long-distance relationship. And, it’s waterproof!
i.Con Smart Condom, when is a condom, not a condom, when it is an i.Con Smart Condom which is actually a flexible ring designed to go over the top of a condom. Also called the ‘Fitbit for sex’, the i.Con Smart Condom maintains that it can measure sexual performance, understanding and registering different positions and even the number of calories expended. Transfer all your data to your smartphone where it can be stored and accessed in the i.Con app. You can compare yourself with other users across the world, anonymously of course
B-Vibe Vibrating Rimming Anal Plug 2 does what it says on the tin, it is a vibrating butt plug that has rotating beads to really up the vibe on the rimming sensation and also help relax the sphincter muscles. This little beauty can stimulate the prostate in guys creating an intense orgasm or what is called the A-spot in women which creates a full body orgasm
The development of the silicone casing of many of these toys means that they don’t have to be left outside the bathroom door, many are fully submersible in the bath too.
Recharging your batteries
It can be helpful if there is a warning indicator light about the level of charge left in the battery, the packaging of the product should tell you the overall running time.
Tech is tech in whatever guise so software updates are an unfortunate and annoying fact of life, then there are the usual connectivity frustrations, incompatibility and faulty apps. Why should the bedroom be any different to the boardroom?
Bluetooth is one specific issue as the Bluetooth connection is incompatible with water and human beings even on the inside, are 80% water so toys and devices using Bluetooth may not deliver.
Losing connection is going to cause you to…well, lose connection and worse, if you can’t control the device then sometimes it just won’t stop vibrating. Make sure the supporting app and your phone are compatible. Long-distance couples’ toys actually seem to be more reliable as they use the internet for the connection rather than Bluetooth.
The problem is that prowess at making sex toys does not always translate through to the tech side of things with tech being imported into the toy without much joined-up thinking. Clearly, these toys are never tested by the people who design or make them but that’s because those in Silicon Valley are just a little reluctant to have their latest design tech hijacked by the sex industry. Always find peer reviews on the tech element of the toy before
Data privacy might not be the first or even the second thing on your mind but sex toys can be hacked just like any other tech device. Sex toy manufacturers have a reputation for not being smart about their tech and this includes protecting their customers.
There have even been stories of unauthorised access to data by the manufacturers. It rather begs the question of whether a sex toy could be hacked into from remote and then controlled by a third party. Better safe than sorry.
Perhaps keep your sex toys more 20th century than 21st century and your connectivity a little more old fashioned and traditional.