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Is role play in the bedroom the new lockdown trend?

As lockdown looks set to endure for a while yet, people are having to get seriously inventive in the bedroom.  There is possibly much more sexual activity going on than previously, well, what can you do?  There are only so many box sets you can watch.  No surprise then that condom sales have soared as have sex toy purchases and applications to join online dating sites.

So how can you inject some vigour into your sex life when you are constantly stuck at home with your partner and they are really starting to annoy you? You could consider role play which is favourite with many couples with or without a state of lockdown.  Some people feel it is childish whilst others profess themselves to be simply too self-conscious to give it a go.  Read our guide to role play, it could be a game-changer in the bedroom.

Why is role play popular?

Role play allows you to become someone else for a while, a different character.  For some, this is an opportunity to act out a different persona, to indulge in fantasy even, to dress up.  The main upside is that you can use that character to overcome inhibitions, to try out things which you would normally be too anxious or embarrassed to introduce but which could be quite natural for our assumed character.  It’s a form of protection, a form of self-defence, it’s easier to release fantasies and try out new things if you can step outside yourself and role play lets you do this. 

However, many couples are scared of introducing the concept of role play, worried about the reaction of the other person or that they will be judged for their fantasies, one of which could be role play and dressing up.  They might feel self-conscious, silly even when assuming a role. 

Here are some helpful hints to get you in the role play groove.

  • Locate your segue – in simple terms, find out how to broach the subject with your partner. Testing the water is one of the easiest ways to do it and there are plenty of natural mechanisms to introduce potentially risque things into the conversation, like sex toys and dressing up.  Say your fantasy is for your partner to wear a uniform and opt for a bit of dominance.  Just drop casually into the conversation next time you see a policeman on the television or in a film, how great you think your guy would look in uniform.  We are not thinking Inspector Morse here or Poirot more like Rob Lowe in Wild Bill!  Or show him a picture of a French maid’s outfit and say you have been invited to a post lockdown fancy dress party and this is your proposed costume.  See what kind of reaction you receive.  Or you can use the dream sequence…” last night, I had a dream…”.  It’s actually pretty easy to test the waters
  • The bedroom is a judgement-free zone – talking about fantasies requires the twin components of respect and a non-judgemental approach. No-one is going to want to open up their mind and innermost thoughts if they think they are going to be judged or even ridiculed or laughed at.  So, you need to set out the ground rules so no matter what you either say or hear, you are not going to react in a way that is disrespectful, judgemental or unpleasant.  Also, what occurs in the bedroom stays in the bedroom so no whispered stories to girlfriends or bragging with your mates. It’s only in an atmosphere of total trust that you and your partner can be truly honest about your thoughts and feelings
  • Fantasies are not always rational or politically correct – either you or your partner’s fantasies may take you by surprise. An ardent kick-ass feminist might admit to wanting a whole bunch of domination in the bedroom, where she is the submissive.  Your big, beefy guy covered in tattoos may want to get in touch with his female side – you just don’t know what you are going to unleash
  • The importance of mutual consent – this is a non-negotiable and it doesn’t just refer to dominance and bondage sessions, it refers to all aspects of role play – both parties must be happy with what’s going on
  • Start at the beginning of the story with just words – start the action by using just dialogue or story settings when you are intimate – don’t drive straight into full-on costumes or an Oscar-winning acting performance or you could just put yourself or your partner off. Use words to begin to set a fictitious scene, a story that you can use to embed characters and come back to on other occasions
  • Set limits in advance – consent should not be assumed if the goalposts move or a fantasy heads off in a direction that wasn’t anticipated. Consent can expire too so always make sure there is a ‘get out’ clause in what you are doing

Some role play is common to many couple’s sex lives

if you look online at a good sex shop, you will find the costume or outfit section has defined favourites and that’s because lots of people like a uniform or want to dress up as a nurse or doctor.  If you don’t have a particular character or scenario in mind then take a look at our list for some inspiration:-

  • Hitchhiker and driver
  • Delivery driver and customer
  • Teacher and pupil
  • Two strangers in a bar
  • Stripper and client
  • Boss and employee
  • Massage therapist and client
  • Uniformed professional and civilian
  • Virgin and experienced person

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