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How to give a sex toy as a gift?

Perhaps Valentine’s Day whetted your appetite, maybe a friend of yours was given a sex toy by her partner and you are just ever so slightly jealous?

So, why not give a sex toy as a gift to your partner or even to yourself? You could do some essential research solo in order to work out what might suit you both. If you are in a relationship, it is a great way to open up the conversation about sex toys and it can be easier if you have already indulged and can demonstrate that they really do enhance proceedings. But the bottom line is, it does have to be handled with care.

Here are some tips before you dive straight in about how to buy a sex toy for someone else.

  • Sex toys work best in relationships which are established in that sexual preferences and parameters are known to both parties so perhaps slightly longer-term rather than new couplings. Both parties need to be comfortable with the status quo otherwise a sex toy can just cause pressure if one or other party feel uncomfortable with it. A sex toy in the wrong scenario could be taken as explicit criticism of some inadequacy in the bedroom department. In the right situation, a well-chosen sex toy can bring couples closer together as it allows them to take their sexual relationship onto the next level.
  • Who is the gift for? Is it really for you to watch them playing and fulfil your own private fantasy or is it all about your partner?
  • Think about your partner’s needs and wants. Ultimately what pleases them will please you also and so a toy can become a mutual benefit even if it started out as a gift from one to another
  • Don’t make the toy into an object by which one person can do something else to another – this should be a new adventure for you both, a mutual journey of self-discovery
  • Do you want a toy to be a share toy or would you pick something which is more specifically aimed at your partner’s preferences?

How to pick the right toy

You might have to resort to subterfuge here. If you can, work the conversation around to sex toys; there are lots of easy and innocent ways to do this. Say you were at a friend’s house staying over and found a drawer full of sex toys in her bedroom. Or maybe you were watching re-runs of Sex and the City or Fifty Shades of Grey. In this context, it is easy to turn the conversation around to toys and see if you can elicit any form of response that might give you a clue about your partner’s preferences.

If you just can’t find any clues (asking his friends is probably not the best idea you ever had) then you could just take the plunge and take the full-frontal approach, not literally, you understand. Ask him. Say that you are thinking of buying a toy and is there anything that he fancies trying out? Some couples will browse websites together whilst others will actually go into sex stores for advice and purchase. It really is whatever works for you and your relationship.

What if the mention of a sex toy is not well received?

It could be just a shock or it could even be embarrassment. If possible, try and have an open conversation about it being very careful to put the toy into the context of a great sex life rather than leaving the implication hanging there that there is something missing. On occasion, someone might just need time to get used to the idea. It may be something your partner has never considered, equally, he could be jolly relieved you have brought up the subject and super thrilled to be shopping with you online.
Prepare for the unexpected, you could get any response but don’t take it personally if the idea bombs out – his reluctance may have nothing to do with you at all.

If you are experienced with using toys yourself either solo or from former relationships or both, then you can perhaps offer to show him how toys make you feel and which ones you like and why. Try and couch it in terms of mutual pleasure enhancement rather than any hint of inadequacy about his manhood.
Sometimes the introduction of sex toys can mean the opening of the floodgates and you may wish you had done it sooner. Women can often be more in tune with their sexuality than men and more willing and able to describe it and talk about it. Not thinking beyond the penis is a bit of a defence mechanism for men and it can be hard initially to get them to drop that barrier.

Think carefully about how and when to give your gift assuming you have not gone out and shopped for it together. A gift like this can stand or fall by how it is given and when. You might want to build it up into something special or you may choose to be more low key and subtle about it.

A sex toy can be given with other masculine or feminine gifts as part of a selection of presents, it doesn’t have to stand in isolation. You may use humour in order to add a note of levity if you feel that it is all becoming too serious – humour is a great way to relax the atmosphere.

There are men who say they feel emasculated by sex toys – you are probably never going to win that one. But a decent guy within the confines of a loving relationship which has a history of good, open sex should not feel compromised by the introduction of sex toys. If he does then you might just want to question whether he really is the guy for you.

Go online for more ideas and feedback and whilst you are thinking it all through, why not treat yourself?!

You may use humour in order to add a note of levity if you feel that it is all becoming too serious – humour is a great way to relax the atmosphere.

There are men who say they feel emasculated by sex toys – you are probably never going to win that one. But a decent guy within the confines of a loving relationship which has a history of good, open sex should not feel compromised by the introduction of sex toys. If he does then you might just want to question whether he really is the guy for you.

Go online for more ideas and feedback and whilst you are thinking it all through, why not treat yourself?!

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